


Our Future in the Palm Of Your Hand

by GypsyGirl79



Series: 13 and Yaz [13]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Slight Canon Divergence, space lesbians, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 22:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GypsyGirl79/pseuds/GypsyGirl79
Summary: Yaz gets jealous when she sees a picture of River Song. Angst happens. Ryan and Graham try to help the lovers sort things out.





	Our Future in the Palm Of Your Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Can’t be all happiness for 13 and Yaz. Gotta have a little angst.
> 
> No beta. All mistakes are mine.  
> Edited the ending a tiny bit to fix an error. Thanks to @TwinofSarah for bringing it to my attention.
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism welcome.

“I know it’s here somewhere,” the Doctor grumbled, as she fumbled around on a high shelf in her wardrobe, teetering precariously on a chair. She cursed herself for putting the box up so high. “These legs definitely used to be longer!”

“Why do ya need it? You haven’t worn it since since we visited the KERBLAM! headquarters.” Yaz stood behind her, ready to catch her girlfriend if she fell (which she probably would.)

The Doctor rolled her eyes. “Because! Sometimes a girl wants to wear a fez! Don’t need a reason, do I?” She saw a box and reached for it, tipping the chair off balance.

“Careful, Doctor!” Yaz tried to steady the Time Lord, but it was too late. The women crashed to the floor. The box for which the Doctor had been reaching dumped its contents on top of them. Photographs. Dozens of them. They floated down, scattering on the floor.

The Doctor frowned, rubbing her sore bum. “Whoops. Wrong box.”

Yaz picked up one of the photos. In it stood a middle aged man with a mop of curly hair and a laughably-long scarf. He stood next to a pretty brunette. Yaz glanced up at the wardrobe and saw the same long scarf hanging in a corner. 

“That’s me. Well, one of my former selves. I still love that scarf, but I don’t think it suits me, now.” The Doctor paused. “That’s Sarah Jane. She was my companion for two regenerations. Met her again during a third. I’m almost certain she’s dead, now.” Her voice was quiet, a slight smile did little to hide the sadness in her eyes.

Yaz looked around at the dozens of scattered pictures. “Are all of these your companions?”

The Doctor nodded. “Yes. Some I never got a proper photo, but I remember them just the same. Didn’t always have a camera handy. Used to be more secretive, too, but I liked the idea of having photographs around.” 

Yaz picked up another photo. The woman staring back was a beautiful young blonde. “Rose Tyler,” the Doctor supplied. “We had some fantastic adventures. I miss her. You’d have got on well with her,” she said, sadly.

The brunette held up another photo of two men and a woman. “I’m the bloke with the, uh, distinguished chin and bow tie. Those were my friends Amy Pond and Rory Williams. They’re both gone. The Weeping Angels got them. Remind me to tell ya about those lot some night when ya don’t wanna sleep.” The Doctor frowned, deepening the creases on her forehead.

Yaz couldn’t stand the sadness in her girlfriend’s voice. “I’ll help ya box these back up,” she offered.

The Doctor looked relieved. “Thanks, Yaz.” They began gathering the photos. The Doctor stopped, picking up one photo of a beautiful woman with long, curly hair and a tall older man who looked moderately grumpy, but very much in love with the woman. She gazed fondly at the picture.

“Who’s that?” Yaz looked over her shoulder.

“Remember when I said I was a gray-haired Scotsman? That bloke is me. Was me. The most recent past me. I regenerated from him to me right before I fell through the train roof.” She winced at the thought. 

“And the woman?” Yaz eyed her curiously.

The Doctor sighed, sadly. “That’s River Song. My wife.”

Yaz stared at the blonde, not quite believing her ears. “Your what?”

“My wife,” the Doctor replied again, still gazing at the photo. She held up the picture with Rory and Amy. “She married me during this regeneration, those were her parents, by the way.” She held up the one of River and the gray-haired Scotsman. “And this was during our 24-year/one-night marriage on Darillium.”

“Ya have a wife?” Yaz stood as jealous anger bubbled up in her chest “Why didn’t ya tell me?”

“Yaz, she’s never seen this body! It was a long time ago and I’m sorry I didn’t mention it! What does it matter now?!” The Doctor’s own irritation caused her to snap. She stood, crossing her arms across her chest defensively.

Yaz tossed down her handful of photos. “Maybe ya should have mentioned it! Having a spouse is kinda important when you’re dating someone, don’t ya think? That’s the sort of secret ya don’t keep from your girlfriend!” She stomped toward the door.

“Yaz! Wait! I’m sorry I never told you! Does it help that she’s dead?!” The Doctor felt angry tears running down her face. Yaz paused at the door for a second before walking out. The Doctor slumped down in her pile of memories, crying.

Ryan and Graham, who had been walking in the hallway towards the kitchen and heard the row, jumped out of Yaz’s way and peeked in on the Doctor. “You go after Yaz,” Graham told Ryan. “I’ll see if I can get the Doc calmed down.”

Ryan nodded and ran after the angry policewoman. Graham lightly knocked on the door before entering the room.

“Hey Doc,” he said gently as he approached her. He sat down next to her, shuffling the photos out of the way. “Wanna talk about it?” He reached over and patted her shoulder. She collapsed on him, bawling. Graham was surprised, she usually shied away from comforting gestures unless they were from Yaz. “It’ll be okay, Doc. Tell me what happened, love.”

“I’ve got a wife n’ Yaz hates me,” she sobbed, holding the two pictures she had shown Yaz.

“C’mon, now, she doesn’t hate ya. She’s a bit miffed and just didn’t hang around to hear the whole story. Let’s talk over tea.” He stood and pulled her up with him. “C’mon, I’ll make a cuppa n’ you can tell me all about it.” The Doctor nodded, tearfully, and followed him to the kitchen.

***  
Ryan found Yaz in the exercise room going to town on a heavy punching bag. He stood back, watching her a moment. He’d know her long enough to keep his distance until she cooled down. Finally, her punches slowed, her shoulders slumped and she turned to face him.

“How much of that did ya hear?” She sat on a bench and nodded to the place next to her.

Ryan sat, but left some space. “Heard the Doctor yelling about being married to a dead woman n’ you storming out.”

Yaz scowled at him. “When ya put it like that, makes me look like an arse.” She looked down at her bloody knuckles, raw from the punching bag..

“Defo. Can’t disagree with ya there.” She shot him a disgusted look, but the young man just shrugged it off. “Why’re ya cross with the Doc?”

“She’s married and didn’t think it important enough t’tell me!” Yaz slammed her fist on the wooden bench, leaving a bloody smear.

“Don’t be daft, Yaz! She’s, what, two thousand years old? Can’t tell me you thought you were the first romantic relationship ever! First for this body, maybe. Not that I really understand all that...” He glanced at his mate. She was staring at the floor.

“I am the first for this body of hers. I saw pictures of her when she married that woman. She was a bloke then. Two different blokes, in fact.” Yaz wiped the blood on her jeans, her anger lessening by the minute.

“And she said her wife was dead.” He looked her in the eye. “That’d be like a woman wanting t’date Graham n’ getting honked because he was once married to my Nan.” Ryan let his words sink in for a moment. “What were those photos laying everywhere?” Yaz looked away.

“Pictures of her old mates, traveling companions, from her past lives. People like us.” Yaz picked at the hem of her shirt. “She said most of ‘em were dead.”

“Must’ve been hard on her looking at those.” Ryan watched his mate, knowing she was regretting her impulsive actions.

Yaz nodded and sighed. “I just saw her looking at a photo of this beautiful woman and... bloody hell, I was jealous,” she admitted. 

“No shit! Ouch!” Ryan rubbed his arm where she had lightly slapped him. 

“What am I gonna do, Ryan?” She threw her hands up. “I’ve fucked this up proper!”

“Apologize,” he said, simply. “And maybe ya could do something special for her.”

She furrowed her brow. “Like what?”

“Those photos were all just stuffed in a box, right? I’ve got an idea.”

***  
“So, these fellas used to be you?” Graham studied the two photos. The Doctor nodded. “And your wife, River, was human, but with Time Lord DNA? And she’s technically dead, but her consciousness is on a database at a library?” Normally, he wouldn’t have believed a word of that, but it had become the norm traveling with the Doctor.

The Doctor sniffled and nodded again. “She still exists, thinks, and works in that state. But I doubt I’ll ever see her again. Even with the ability to travel time n’ space, some things are permanent.” She sipped her tea, but it brought no comfort, only making her stomach churn. “I suppose I should’ve been honest with Yaz, but I’ve lived so long and things don’t seem t’matter as much when you’re as old as I am. Besides, River has multiple husbands and wives besides me! We never knew when or where we’d meet; I wanted her to be happy so we weren’t exclusive.” She hung her head. “All I wanted was to find my fez! I didn’t mean for any of this to happen! I wish I’d never found those photographs!”

“I know, Doc. Y’know, I think Yaz reacted so poorly because she’s jealous. She’s crazy about ya, Doc!” He patted her hand. “Give her time to cool off. Everything will be fine. It’s not like you to lose hope.”

“But, everything seem so hopeless now,” she sighed. “This couldn’t have come at a worse time! I had something planned for Yaz and me tonight, but I don’t know if I should go through with it, now.” She felt fresh tears sting her eyes, but blinked them back, already embarrassed that her friend had seen her cry.

“What do ya mean, Doc.” Graham cocked his head in confusion.

The Doctor fished around in her pocket. “Ya have to promise you won’t tell anyone, especially Yaz.”

Graham nodded. “Promise.”

***  
Yaz stood in the console room, waiting. Ryan had gone off to find Graham and the Doctor. He had spoken to Graham briefly, and she sensed something was up, but she didn’t know what. She picked at her torn knuckles, feeling horrible. She hoped the Doctor would forgive her.

Ryan collected her a few minutes later. He led her to her bedroom. “Just talk to her and don’t forget your gift,” he told her. Graham was exiting the room, most likely having just given the Doctor a pep talk. He gave her a reassuring smile. Yaz entered the room. She noticed the fez had been located and now sat on the bed. The coffee table was decorated with two candles, a pot of tea, and a plate of custard creams. Yaz felt guilty, knowing the Doctor had done up the coffee table for her. The Time Lord stood next to the purple sofa, staring at the floor, wringing her hands. “Doctor,” Yaz whispered.

The Doctor didn’t move from her spot. She looked as though both of her hearts were broken. Yaz tentatively approached her. “I’m sorry Yaz,” she tearfully blurted out as the younger woman neared. “I’m so sorry! I should’ve been honest with ya from the get-go, but there’s so much about me ya don’t know n’ you’ll probably never know. I just didn’t think it’d matter! Please don’t be jealous n’ hate me,” the Time Lord sobbed.

Yaz set her gift on the table and wrapped her in a hug. “Doctor, stop! Please! I’m the one who owes you an apology! I was jealous, but that’s no excuse for what I said. I didn’t mean to yell and run off like that!” She grabbed the blonde by the shoulders. “I don’t hate you! Never will! I’m afraid you’ll hate me for how I treated ya! Please forgive me!” Yaz was crying now. “I’m so sorry!”

“Oh, Yaz! I forgive you! Ya know I could never hate you! You’re my Yaz!” They held each other, crying.

Finally, they settled down and dried their tears. Yaz brought the Doctor to the sofa. “So, ya found your fez.” 

The blonde regarded it sadly. “Don’t feel like wearing it now, not after it started all this trouble.”

“Will you tell me about your wife? About River Song?” Yaz held the Doctor’s hands. “If it isn’t too painful to talk about.”

A warm smile graced the Doctor’s face and her eyes lit up. “Oh, Yaz, she was funny, brave, intelligent, wonderful, brilliant...” she rambled on, and the younger woman listened to every word. Her story was a bit hard to follow, as River seemed to skip in and out of time more than the Doctor. Finally, the Doctor finished. She had tears in her eyes, but a warm smile on her lips.

“I’m sorry I never got t’meet her,” Yaz said, wiping fresh tears away with her sleeve.

“She would adore you, Yasmin Khan.” The Doctor smiled. “Where’s my box of photos? I’ve still got these two I need to put back.”

“About that,” Yaz reached over to the coffee table and picked up her gift. “Ryan helped me put this together. It’s an ‘I’m sorry for behaving like a miserable twat’ gift.” She handed her girlfriend a book.

The Doctor looked puzzled as she opened it. Her eyes grew wide when she realized what the younger woman had done. “It’s a photo album,” Yaz explained. “Ryan and I tried to sort your photos based on which version of you is in them. I don’t think we got it all right, though. You can sort them better when ya want. I couldn’t stand t’think of your loved ones being scattered in a box.”

The Doctor wrapped her arms around her lover’s neck, burying her face in her shoulder. “Love it,” she whispered. “Love it n’ I love you.”

“Am I forgiven?” Yaz still felt a bit of apprehension.

“Silly Yaz! Of course! Never doubt it!” The Doctor’s bright smile had returned, though her cheeks were still sticky with tears. The younger woman sighed with relief.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the only sound was the quiet hum of the TARDIS. The Doctor began to fidget and the machine wheezed. “Should I? Now? Really?”

Yaz looked at her, watching her speak with the sentient ship. She could understand the TARDIS occasionally, but the Doctor had a true telepathic connection.

The ship buzzed at the blonde. “Of course I want to, don’t be daft.” Another wheeze and beep. “Guess waiting too long never got a person anywhere.” The TARDIS huffed.

The Doctor took a breath and screwed her courage up so tight she thought her whole body might come unwound. “Yaz, I’ve had something on my mind for a while, now. I wanted t’do it proper, so I’ve put it off. But I don’t wanna delay it again. No time to waste waiting for the perfect moment. The perfect moment rarely comes.”

The brunette furrowed her brow. “Doctor, what are ya going on about?”

The Doctor fished around in her coat pockets. “I just had it! I know it’s here somewhere,” she muttered. “Ah! Found it!” She pulled her Sonic halfway from a pocket and pulled something off of the end, palming it in her right hand. 

“Doctor, you’re making me nervous,” the younger woman said, frowning.

“Am I? Sorry, I’m quite nervous myself!” She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Yasmin Khan, ya mean the world to me. No! The universe! It’s much bigger! And I love ya so very much and I wanna be a part of you for as long as we have, which might not be long since folks who travel with me seem to end up, well, never mind that. And you humans are so frail and finite, and I know my hearts’ll get broken, but I’d rather be happy with you while we can and... I’m rambling, aren’t I? Sorry. What I’m trying t’say is,” she finally paused to breathe, “Yasmin Khan, will you be my wife?” She dropped to both knees in front of the shocked young woman, extending her right hand.

Sitting in the middle of her palm was a ring. It was expertly crafted from three colors of wire, gold, silver, and blue, intricately woven and twisted together. A small blue disc was mounted on top and bore the circular writing of the Doctor’s native Gallifreyan language. The older woman trembled, waiting for the brunette to say or do something.

Yaz gasped, cupping her mouth with her hand. She gazed at the ring in disbelief. “Our future, in the palm of your hand,” she whispered as she reached out to take the ring. Tears slipped from her eyes as she slid the band on the ring finger of her left hand. A perfect fit. “Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, I will,” she said, her voice breaking. She threw her arms around the Doctor’s neck, falling to the floor beside her.

“Never doubted,” the Time Lord cried. The TARDIS wheezed. “Fine, I doubted a little.” She wept for relief on the brunette’s shoulder. 

Yaz cupped her cheeks and brought her in for a tearful kiss. “Oh, Doctor! I love the ring! Did ya make it yourself?”

“I did. It’s bits of wire from the TARDIS. I hoped you’d like it. If not, I’ll buy you one from a shop. I know humans seem to favor diamonds,” she stammered, nervously.

“No, Doctor, I love it! What does it say?” Yaz gazed down at the little blue disc.

“It says ‘my brilliant Yaz,’” she translated quietly. “Couldn’t fit your whole name. Sorry.”

“Oh, Doctor,” Yaz choked, holding her tighter.

***  
Later that evening, the women lay in bed, naked, sweaty, disheveled, and happy, having made love more passionately than ever before. Their tears had long-since dried. Bright hazel eyes gazed lovingly into deep brown eyes. “I’m sorry I almost ruined everything,” Yaz whispered.

“No, love. Doesn’t matter now.” The Doctor patted her photo album on the bed next to her. “Ya gave me two wonderful gifts tonight. My album n’ yourself. I’m quite chuffed about the last one.” The Doctor pulled the blankets over them and set the album on her belly. She sat up slightly, bringing the brunette with her. “Do ya want to hear about my companions?”

“Only if it isn’t too painful. I thought it was breaking your hearts earlier.” She kissed her cheek and stroked her hair..

“It’s quite painful, actually. But I’ve got so many happy memories that I want to share if you’ll let me.” The Doctor looked hopeful.

Yaz smiled warmly, twisting the ring on her finger. “Of course, love. Anytime ya want.”

The Doctor grinned. “Brilliant!” She opened the album and began haphazardly flipping through the pages. “This is Susan Foreman, she’s my granddaughter.” She chuckled at her fiancée’s shocked expression. “Yasmin, I can’t believe you’re surprised by anything at this point! I’ll tell ya that story later, promise. Oh, that old man is me. Was me. You know what I mean. Oh, and that’s Ian and beside him is Barbara. They taught me well. Oh, here’s Sarah Jane again, and that’s Adric, brave lad he was. The robot dog is K-9, such a good companion! Well, I was quite the looker then, wasn’t I? And before ya ask, yes, that’s a celery stalk. And there’s Rose, and oh, Donna Noble! She was amazing! And the handsome fella there with her is me. One of my better looks, don’t ya think?” The Doctor grinned and Yaz giggled. “Oh, and this is dear Clara Oswald and here’s Bill Potts! You’d have loved her! Oh, the adventures I’ve had with them all!” The Gallifreyan talked long into the night, and her fiancé hung on every word.


End file.
